Mother-In-Law House

Legend has it that the Mother-In-Law House, at 500 South Main Street in St. Charles, was built by Francis X. Kremer in 1860. Because his young bride from Germany missed her mother, Kremer built the house with one side for himself and his wife, and the other side for his mother-in-law. To welcome her from Germany, Kremer invited the residents of St. Charles to a street party with a brass band. He presented his mother-in-law with a key to her half of the house, with the humorous provision that she stay on her side.

For years, this story was told in guide books, by tour guides and by the owners of the Mother-In-Law House, which was reputed to be the first "double house" in St. Charles. However, the Mother-In-Law House story may indeed be legend.

Kremer's bride, Minna Carolina Becker, was born in Missouri – not Germany – on January 13, 1837. The two were married in St. Charles County on July 27, 1855. Census records from 1860, 1870 and 1880 show the Kremers living in St. Charles with only their children – and no mother-in-law.

Researcher Mitzi Smith found that in 1865, Kremer built his St. Charles home at 514 South Main – not at the 500 address. In 1866, he bought a warehouse at 500 South Main, which he used to store grain for his flour mill. In 1876, after the warehouse was destroyed by a tornado, Kremer rebuilt it as a two-story brick building. The warehouse was converted into tenements before the turn of the century.
 

Mother-In-Law House, 500 South Main Street, St. Charles, ca 1950s
Saint Charles County Historical Society Archives
(click image to enlarge)

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Carl Clark House, Jr. was born on March 8, 1921 in Midland Michigan. He grew up and was educated in Buffalo, New York and Ridgeway, Ontario, Canada. At the age of 17,
he joined the U.S. Navy and served in World War II.

After the war, House embarked on a restaurant career, working at the Brown Derby in Hollywood and for Pope's Cafeterias in St. Louis. By the early 1950s, he was Director of Food Service at Lindenwood College in St. Charles. It was there, in the faculty corner of the dining room, that House met Virginia Lee Winham. The two were married in 1953.
 

Carl House (right), Food Service Staff
Lindenwood College Yearbook, 1953
 
Virginia Lee Winham (center), Music Faculty
Lindenwood College Yearbook, 1953

By 1964, Carl and Virginia House had purchased the warehouse Francis Kremer had rebuilt in 1876, although they believed it to be a "double home" built in 1860 for Kremer's homesick bride's mother. They renovated the building and began hosting private parties. In 1969, the year of the St. Charles Bicentennial, the Mother-In-Law House restaurant was open to the public.
 

Mother-In-Law House, 500 South Main Street, St. Charles, 1969
Saint Charles County Historical Society Archives, Arlen Gibson Collection

Virginia House served as the restaurant's hostess, bookkeeper and cashier. She also enforced the Mother-In-Law House dress code: Men must wear jackets and ties. Hot pants and uncoordinated outfits are not acceptable for women.

After hanging their coats on brass hooks in the central hall, diners would wait in the restaurant's lounge for their table. In one corner was a bar resembling the pilothouse of a Missouri riverboat, with a large lantern overhead.

The high-ceilinged main dining room, with its large windows, had been created by tearing out the walls of four adjacent rooms. It featured flowery deep-red carpet, old fashioned wainscot under muted gold and deep-rose wallpaper, rich burgundy draperies, and great oil lamps which shed a dimmed electric light on white-linened tables and sparkling silverware. The dining room seated 54 persons.
 

St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Nov 16, 1969

In the center of the dining area was a supporting post surrounded by a magnificent salad bar, so grand it could make a salad buff forget about appetizer, entree and dessert.

There were four bean salads (green beans, wax beans, kidney beans with sliced water chestnuts and garbanzos), Bismarck herring and sour cream, tiny beet balls and dilled tomatoes, pickles, olives, dilled Brussels sprouts, broccoli, sweet cauliflower, pickled okra, smoked oysters, cucumbers and sour cream (with horseradish added for tartness), chicken liver pate (from a Molly Goldberg recipe), a sweet-sour slaw, potato salad spiced with mustard, carrot salad with a special fruit dressing, pea salad (with cheddar cheese, onion, celery, hard-cooked eggs and mayonnaise dressing), red cabbage in crocks, a sauerkraut salad (the sauerkraut taste was cooked out and onions, celery, pimento, sugar, pepper, wine vinegar and salad oil were added), and for pedestrian tastes there was an ordinary tossed salad with a variety of dressings.

Half of the Mother-in-Law House's business was in a downstairs dining area, with original rock walls, called The Cellar. The original dirt floor was covered over with bricks, taken from a century-old tavern, and exposed floor joists of white pine. Supporting posts were walnut and arches were of wood reclaimed from an old grain mill.

The Cellar, which seated 75 diners, was only open for buffet lunch. Originally intended for patronage by St. Charles businessmen, The Cellar did poorly until it was discovered by the many women who patronized the area's antique shops.

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In early 1980, Carl and Virginia House put the Mother-In-Law House up for sale and moved to Hermitage, Tennessee. The restaurant initially remained open, managed by Robert and Catherine Kreis, but closed early in 1981 and sat vacant.

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Born and raised on a farm in Gillespie, Illinois, Donna Mae Drury came to St. Charles on a scholarship to attend Lindenwood College, where she majored in home economics. While in school, she met Ralph Hafer, a hometown St. Charles boy. The two fell in love and were married in 1956, the day after she graduated from Lindenwood.
 

Donna Mae Drury
Lindenwood College Yearbook, 1956

After graduation and marriage, Donna Drury Hafer got a job at St. Charles High School, teaching science and home economics. She became interested in antiques and opened a shop on South Main Street.

Hafer fell in love with South Main. "I just fell in love with those beautiful houses. I did. I just loved them."

In the early 1970s, Hafer bought the home across the street from her antique shop, fixed it up and rented it out. She continued buying and restoring South Main homes until her mother died in 2002. "I don’t have to be good anymore and make anybody proud," she explained at the time.

In 1978, Emily Grigsby, the owner of the Copper Platter at 625 South Main, put her restaurant up for sale.

"I loved The Copper Platter," recalled Hafer. "I loved the food. And in fifteen minutes, I bought it!"

Hafer knew nothing about the restaurant business. But she inherited a server with her new restaurant, named Betty Mary.

She knew how it all worked. She’d waited tables. Well, I’d never waited tables in my life. I didn’t know anything about it. But I did know how to cook.

And so we started working and I just loved it. And Betty said, "Donna, they’re finding out that you bought this. You’re going to have to wait tables."

I said, "Oh, Betty. I don’t know how to wait tables."

She said, "You pick up that pad and pencil and get busy."

After two years as a restaurateur, Hafer wanted a larger restaurant. She knew Carl House from her days at Lindenwood. "I knew him quite well because we planned parties together and had a good time."

In early 1981, Carl House's restaurant at 500 South Main was for sale. "I always loved Mother-In-Law House," Hafer recalled. "So I jumped off the board and there I was with a restaurant."

We started redecorating and fixing it all up and, oh, I was so proud of it. We opened in 1981 – August the 8th – and I can’t believe so many people helped me. I mean, everybody dug in and helped.

Donna Hafer outside the Mother-In-Law House
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Sept 6, 1987

The dining room, called the Rose Room, was redecorated with gold wallpaper and deep-red chairs and draperies. The crimson and rose carpeting was a replica of a pattern popular at the time the building was constructed. The bar area was redecorated in dark wood, with round tables covered with green and melon color tablecloths. Seating capacity for the Rose Room was 56 people.
 

Mother-In-Law House – Rose Room, 2009
(click image to enlarge)

The basement of the building was redecorated in country style and dubbed the Cider Cellar. The rough wood and cement floor was complemented by stone walls adorned with picket fencing. Jars of vegetables, as well as dried corn and flowers, were used in the decoration, along with a player piano. The Cider Cellar seated 100 people at tables covered with yellow-and-white checkered tablecloths.
 

Mother-In-Law House – Cider Cellar, 2017

While the Copper Platter was open only for lunch, the Mother-In-Law House served both lunch and dinner.

I said to our supplier, "You know I don’t know anything about the night time restaurant business."

They said, "Donna, you are the luckiest girl. The retired chef from the Missouri Athletic Club is in St. Charles."

And so I got his name [Clarence Story] and number and called him, and I said, "Would you come and help me with my menu?"

He said, "No. My wife’s got arthritis."

I said, "Well, would you just have lunch with me?" He agreed.

Well, I liked him right away and he liked me, and so he came. And my doctor had a son [Dan Felder] graduating from college that needed a job, so we hired him for the cook! Chef Story taught him. He was wonderful. We had fun.

Many of the recipes used at the Mother-In-Law House were gathered from Hafer's family and friends. The salad bar, especially, was a collection of homemade delicacies, with a story behind each one.

Let's see, the pea salad is from my Aunt Cath in Michigan; the cottage cheese salad came from the mother-in-law of another friend; that fluffy cherry salad we call Pink Panther is from my Aunt Hon in Illinois, who also gave me our rice recipe.

They loved that Pink Panther. We couldn’t make enough of it. We sold enough chicken salad. Those poor chickens, it’s a wonder that they’re still on the earth!

Mother-In-Law House salad bar selections

The blueberry muffins, brought hot to the table as they came out of the oven, were Hafer's own recipe. They were made in antique iron muffin tins, of which she had only three. On a busy Saturday, keeping up with the demand was sometimes a losing battle.

My best friend said there are three things you never ask Donna. Don’t ask her age, don’t ask how many buildings she owns, and for heaven’s sake, don’t ask for another muffin.

It was my gift to them. And my gift was one – we couldn’t make more than that. One man got really mad at me, but that’s the way it was.

Donna Hafer's Blueberry Muffin

The Mother-In-Law House lunch menu included hand-made fresh hamburgers, specialty salads, hot grilled sandwiches, and home-made soups.
 

Mother-In-Law House Lunch Menu, 2004
(click image to enlarge)

The dinner menu was relatively small. Entrees included three beef items, several chicken choices, fried shrimp and the catch of the day. There were also several specials each night.
 

Mother-In-Law House Dinner Menu, 2004
(click image to enlarge)

The restaurant's most famous dish was its coconut cream pie, compliments of Lorraine "Rene" Zwickey.

We ate her pies at the the Hob Nob Cafeteria. I’d say, "Rene, would you come and work for me?" Nope. Nope. Finally, she came.

There were about 30 different [pie] variations. We had coconut cream, and that was due to Rene Zwickey. She was wonderful.

And I’d say, "Rene, teach me." She’d say, "Comes with me, goes with me."

She taught me every pie.

In 1996, Hafer replaced her Copper Platter restaurant with the Haviland Platter, a combination cafe and museum. In 2001, she opened a candy store – Something Sweet–  in the space.

But Hafer's Mother-In-Law House restaurant continued to thrive – and so did she.

I loved it more than I could ever tell anybody how I loved that restaurant. I loved it; I loved the people.

People would say to me, "Donna, I can’t believe you don’t travel." I said, "I don’t need to travel. The world comes to me."

Donna Hafer, 2006
 
Donna Hafer and her son, Bob, 2011
 
Mother-In-Law House, 500 South Main Street, St. Charles
(click image to enlarge)

On September 9, 2018, a message appeared on the homepage of the Mother-In-Law House website.
 

You know we made such a quick decision. My son stood up one morning and said, “Mom, I can’t walk.” He tore a ligament from his knee. So it wasn’t easy.

Our cook got married and I knew he had to go with his wife. We had a man trained and he got afraid he couldn’t do it. You know everything kind of . . . it was time, I guess.

I thought I’d die there. I loved it with everything in me.

Hafer sold the Mother-In-Law House to John and Bridgette Hamilton, who would use it as a second location for their "Rack House Kitchen Wine Whiskey" restaurant in Cottleville, calling it "Tompkins by The Rack House."

I was so lucky. I had the most wonderful people. I couldn’t wait to get my clothes on and go to work. It was wonderful. I wouldn’t have survived 37 years if I didn’t feel that way.

Donna Hafer and Harley Hammerman, 2019

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